The Ayeshah Factor

moved

2007-11-15T13:03:00.000+05:00

I have been advised by The Little one to move over to wordpress.com...so now further blogs will be posted here : http://ayeshahalam.wordpress.com

Imran Khan

2007-11-14T20:54:00.000+05:00

Someone sms'd me something I'm supposed to forward to everyone...you know those mass sms type thingies that are supposed to motivate civil society to motivated excitement?

Islami Jamiat Talba handed Imran Khan 2 Punjab Police today after locking him in physics dept. Does it show Military Mullah Alliance is still on? Please circulate

All I have to say is (chuckle) Thank God Imran has been put into custody.. mad man... sorry.... again...just my humble opinion.... he's just another person exploiting the situation and trying to cash in on the situation as a freedom fighter.... (laugh)... I don't buy it!!!!! how about you?

This not going to be popular

2007-11-13T19:57:00.000+05:00

ok... so I'm back... because after a long time I feel I have something to say. I am disappointed in how everyone has been getting on the bandwagon to bash Mush. But when exactly did the present judiciary become such heroes? hello.... does anyone remember that this is the same Chaudhry Iftikhar who took his oath under the PCO back in 02? or was it 01? the point is he took it...why was it ok then and not ok now???????

The media?? well lets take an honest look at some of what Geo (fox of Pakistan) have been putting out there.... one would think the country was burning down at the way the country is being presented. Naturally the rest of the world will panic.

and right now we're just seeing both sides of the table react to each other..... the govt perhaps is overreacting...the politicians and media inciting the people...which causes more reactions and its all snowballing.... the mullahs don't need to do a thing...they can just sit back...watch us destabilize ourselves... and being the most organised group in the country... calmly come and take over when the you know what hits the fan.

The students are being excited and its great to see them excited and be involved... but can we not lead them on this panic streak. We as a nation are so used to pulling everyone down... Mush been there too long...lets pull him down now... how about leading the country with him.?

Benazir is ok to come back??? have we forgotten what she and her husband did??? but its ok because she is a woman and doesn't wear a uniform??

lets focus instead on education. a friend of mine made a very good point....no one... no one...talks and does anything about education in this country which is ironic considering it is the one basic aspect that needs to seriously be looked at. Here is another interesting fact... this govt has given more autonomy to the education dept than any other govt has. Civil society has not stepped up and taken responsibility. We are more interested in politics, and the judiciary. We are responsible for where our country is headed just as much as the leaders military or otherwise. True the govt has a responsibility as well but then step up and hold them accountable to it.

Imran Khan is running around giving interviews in secret while Jemima has seized the opportunity to cash in on the press moment and that's ok? Don't get me wrong... I adore Imran Khan as the cricketer and I think he has done fab work for the cancer hospital...as a politician..nah....no faith in him there.

Just my opinion. Its very easy to get caught up in the moment of demonstrations against what are our rights...and yes they are ... and yes we should have them. But along with those rights come responsibility and we need to own up to them. I think at this point we need to back our President and fight extremism with him.... and yes the uniform will come in handy at this point whether we like it or not....its not the only way... talks need to happen too..I agree....

And i certainly don't think we should object when foreign reporters in my country are thrown out , who know nothing or care nothing about the realities and are only mirroring what the west is propogating because it is politically correct in the rest of the world... come and hurl insults at my President.. who by the way... represents you... and me....

United we stand...divided we fall..... lets all get on the same page ... we can have opposing views but we don't have to tear the country apart to have ourselves heard. Everyone is taking the "my way or the highway "stand..... what good does that do anyone? least of all Pakistan?

Voila..another year gone

2006-12-31T21:47:00.000+05:00

so.. here we are... I stare 2007 in the face and wonder what wonders and disasters it will show me. 2006 was pretty disastrous... discovered things about people who i loved and were close to me that I really didn't want to... been let down and stabbed in the back... people's true colours came through... all in all a fairly disappointing year. So as I look ahead what do i think and hope for? It bloody be a better year than 2006 is the first thought that comes to mind. I hope it restores my faith in love, loyalty and friendship. Values, and principals. good guys do finish first sometimes. bell is ringing.. must be some of my friends urging me to come join the fanfare outside... I suppose i should go.. check it out again .. maybe something worthwhile could be found.....?

The search

2006-05-27T09:12:00.000+05:00

hi guys

I know this is going to sound crazy but aren't you tired of the way extremists have hijacked our religion? Today people are afraid to say anything on the grounds that " I am not a scholar" "I'm not really sure what it says.." and that lack of knowledge is the reason why most of the "liberal" lot are being bullied into believing certain things...which as I am discovering ..if you read to understand what the Quran says... 70% of what we believe to be true is false. The Quran does not state or says the opposite of what we think it says. All it takes is us taking the time to read and understand it. From my understanding the Quran was not sent down just for scholars and maulvis to explain to us how to live our lives... I encourage you to look into The Book to see for yourself the message that God has sent for you.

No I haven't lost it.. and I'm not a fundo as you all very well know... just talking from personal experience... lets talk about this.. anyone?

I'm back

2006-03-26T11:13:00.000+05:00

....which is not necessarily a good thing...but nonetheless...there you have it. Two months of no blogging only because I had been advised by my friend..the Little One...that all blog sites have been blocked due to blasphemous cartoons being all over the place...messy thing...freedom of speech...responsibility that goes with that freedom....

No more Friday Times Articles....which is a relief..I'm not a writer..never claimed to be...resigned and now I'm free to crap on my page on the net...just blabberings of nothing... kind of like a private diary that isn't ...

Looking for material for Cutting Edge if anyone happens to stagger across the show and is willing to help out with material...its a satirical show on goings on. Its funny...we did a whole spoof on the new criminals of the country being kite flyers and makers and some people actually thought it was a serious call against them....oh well....maybe we should explain satire first. The really weak jokes seem to make it through....the innuendos... blah blah blah.... win some lose some... what to do!

weapons

2006-01-26T07:52:00.000+05:00

humour is a great weapon. It can be used as a defence mechanism, can be used as a perfect ice breaker in a tough situation... and sometimes just used to cover up and distract people from what you don't want them to see or know. Trouble is when too much of it is used... then you achieve what you set out to do in the first place, and people stop looking for anything else. I know someone who has very strong defence mechanisms in place. The fort is almost impenetrable. He wonders why he is so misunderstood. Its because he doesn't let people in that people eventually stop trying to get in.. its gets tiring... exhausting and sometimes...not worth the pain and effort.... or is it?

how do you know

2006-01-18T09:13:00.000+05:00

how do you know when something is not worth holding on to ? how do you know what is the right way to worship... by the time we find the answers to these questions..in all probability it will be too late. Too often we hang on to the wrong relationships because deep down one is scared there will be nothing else out there... worship... what is that about... a way to communicate with God... give Him glory and complete submission in our lives... so if we use the Bible, the Torah or the Quran, does it really matter? He created everyone with their books and at the end of the day He wants man to submit to Him right? you're probably wondering what I'm going on about. After all, relationships and religion are two separate things...yes ...I suppose you're right... but these were the two burning questions in my mind this morning...thought I'd share!

2006

2006-01-02T07:42:00.000+05:00

We somehow managed to make it through... didnt' bung it up too badly last year...in fact .. did ok.. managed to stay afloat through most of it..and even flew at some points.... at some the sinking had happened..but managed to always have an angel around to pull me back up!!

I gave up on New Year resolutions... only because i finally matured enough to realize their futility... agar kuch karna hota..to new year's ka intezar karnay ki zaroorat hi nahin... know what i mean?

Anyway as the little one pointed out ...since she is privy to early morning conversations with me...the khansama incident happened over Christmas Eve weekend... which i was saving to write about in my column... so wait for that... should be entertaining at the very least...ciao for now...and Happy New Year

Resurrection

2005-12-30T07:28:00.000+05:00

I guess there are times when silence is all that happens in one's head. Even though I manage to get to work and do nothing but blah blah blah but somehow in the quiet of my home, I hear nothing but silence wanting to come out. That's not necessarily a bad thing. I guess just absorbing everything happening around me, sift it out to figure it all out.. and then come forward with an analysis.

I think a lot. Too much as Mr. Delicious likes to remind me. And as people who are close to me know that when I am silent is when there's usually a lot happening. Hibernation is a good defence while trying to come back up. Lets see ...what's happened this past month...

A biopsy which thankfully came back negative... which is probably why I can talk about it right now... which then sparked off this whole...wow...isn't life so totally amazing...which in turn sparked off the..."lets get the house looking at its full potential" mood... which then sparked off the "I think I want to be an interior designer" mood....sigh....chain reactions....interesting....

Life is good... always is... sometimes we need a jolt to remind us of it.... or to reinforce it... and to remind us of our mortality and "straighten up and fly right"! Anyway, this is getting way too philosophical and boring; better get to work....

Confessions

2005-11-23T00:05:00.001+05:00

I hate being human. I wish I could be superwoman and somehow be everywhere for everyone. Was planning on dashing up to Mianwali to find out about the 5 women promised in marriage to 5 imbeciles by their even more imbecelic father /uncle/ whatever... but all plans come to a halt as mother duties call. Rachel has a school play.... then her first exams start...then..also between all of this have to work with the Karafilm fest people so can't budge.. and feeling so frustrated as there aren't enough of me to go around. know what i mean? on a day like today I hate being human.

Democracy in Action

2005-11-19T09:10:00.003+05:00

Call me an idealist but I really believe the time is right for people's movements to have effect. I think the whole earthquake scenario proved that as ordinary civillians moved together as one to a common goal. If we can continue to harness that unity to bring about changes I think it would be brilliant.

lets start out small. Lets start out by changing a small law that shouldn't be too controversial to do.... and see if it works. If it does... we can carry on from there.

If anyone tuned in to my show a couple of days back, we talked about changing laws and how to go about it. A small example of one such law that I feel should be changed is the one about a person being brought into hospital with an injury associated with crime. If you have been shot, by law the doctors are not allowed to treat you unless an FIR has been filed with the police first. That precious time could mean life or death. No I am not being over dramatic...that's exactly what it could mean. I'm sure many of us have had atleast one such experience and know exactly what I am talking about.. Any takers on the campaign to change or update the law?

The Aftermath

2005-11-13T18:52:00.000+05:00

The aftermath. Nadia Jamil said it perfectly when she sms’d me from Balakot. “Feels like the day of judgement” That kind of summed it up. I know some people are expecting graphic details. But I feel stunned into silence. A very old close friend of mine who is also a doctor left his practice with a group of like minded individuals to hike up and treat the victims. I get a call from him 3 days back very emotional and yelling at me. I know he’s upset because of what he has probably been through and what he’s seen so I ask him to calm down and tell me what’s wrong. A few days before he had helped identify a region that had not gotten any aid which I was able to announce and mobilize attention to. Our conversation went something like this.

R: What is the use of me having f**king friend in the f**king media when you are all completely f**king useless!
A: Hi… glad to hear you’re ok… what’s wrong?
R: I have just reached Mandakhel.. its two weeks since the earthquake and I don’t see a single person here with aid. What the f**k is going on?
A: Ok thank you for identifying that area… now that you have informed I will make sure things get there
R: If you only knew what I have just been through you wouldn’t be so f**king calm. Do you know what I have just done?

At this point I am silent and I get chills as I can only imagine what he may be about to describe

R: I have just pulled a 5 year old little girl out of the rubble Ayeshah. Two weeks after the earthquake it’s a miracle she is still alive. The left side of her face is completely damaged. In order to save her life I had to amputate her left foot and left hand. How can you tell me aid is getting to the people? You are all f**king liars…

I am silent. This was just one of the calls. As you can imagine as more and more places were being identified and the information being relayed back to “home base” to send relief teams out.. our task seemed more and more gigantic. Where does one begin? Where does it end? The immediate relief force is just one angle.What about the rehabilitation process of homes, peoples minds and hearts and ruptured souls?

I am thankful to the team I went up north with. Luckily all of us were as insane as each other and managed to keep a good sense of humour about us to keep morale high. Wajahat Malik, Nighat Chaudhry, Nasir Shaikh, Pervez, Aaqib and Nils all of us made a great team. I suppose I wish I had a “group” photo but vacation pictures were the last things on our mind.

On the lighter side and yes believe it or not I do have a lighter tale to tell about the earthquake season … Mr. Delicious whose name I have now changed to Mr. Smart Ass made the most generous donation though without knowing it. It all started when Fakhr sms’d me about the PAF museum on Day 2 and so after my Hero Pakistani draw went down there with the tribe to pack medicines etc. It so happened that Mr. Smart Ass had given me some clothes to be dry cleaned. Yes I’m on dry cleaning duty these days. Not a problem. I had been to and fro at the museum all day dropping stuff but managed to save the bag filled with his designer pants. Gucci, Versace, Armani… you name it. Mr.Smart Ass only believes in clothes that carry an expensive price tag. All good so far right? Can you feel an Ayeshah Alam special coming up? Ah..good… later that evening Balochi Babu decides he wants to get some stuff from his place to give away. Blankets etc. So off we toddle to his place to pile everything into the car. When we get to the museum, him being chivalrous, he drops me off at the gate so I can walk in to Mr. Smart Ass who was calling up constantly to find out where we were. We were there till pretty late working and the next morning I hum my way to the dry cleaners to deliver the bag of clothes only to find my trunk empty. Oh my God! My heart sank. Mr. Smart Ass will hit the roof. How do I tell him that his Gucci Mucci’s are now sitting comfortably in Balakot somewhere? What’s worse is…if it didn’t mean that much to him… the situation is actually making me laugh. I can’t laugh… this is serious. He’ll kill me.

Needless to say, he didn’t speak to me for a few days. I think he’s still nursing his designer wounds. Oh well…danay danay pay likha hai khanay walay ka naam But it also makes me think what are our priorities and what do we put our values in. A good lesson I suppose though now is not the time to remind Mr. Smart Ass of that. Anyway, that’s it for now. For anyone who is reading this who is and has been working on the relief.. thank you .. please don’t lose heart despite the politics being played and carry on doing what you are doing in your sincerest efforts. You are the heroes of today. Thank you

2005-10-08T09:37:00.000+05:00

Ayeshah Alam

me

ramblings

2005-10-08T05:20:00.000+05:00

I don't understand why. I think I've gotten close to knowing You, I think I'm close to You. then You push me away. We used to communicate all the time. Then...silence. It didn't matter what I was going through, it didn't matter how I was hurting, You gave me nothing but silence. I begged for a word from You but nothing. So yes... I was angry at You for deserting me at a time I needed You the most. Now You show Your face again, calling me to come "lets get to know each other again". forgive me my skepticism. I tread lightly and cautiously. I don't know where this will lead.

Its a brand new day and I'm alive!

2005-10-06T09:49:00.000+05:00

I suppose its a good thing I'm an optimist by nature. Its usually relatively easy to bounce back after one of those PMS days. Ramazan started today and I have decided I am going to use this time to search, seek. Having grown up in such a multi cultured confused background that I have been in all different extremes. I feel the need for stillness and truth. Tired of all the confusing messages that keep clogging up my thoughts.

Went to Roasters last night ... had the most amazing tasting food. Maya and I could not continue our conversation as we were too busy oohing and ahing over the khana. But we paid for it dearly this morning. Toilet sms's were going back and forth between us two girlies at 5 o'clock in the am. Our sms conversation went something like this:

Maya: Kahan ho?
Me: Bathroom
Maya: me too
Me: hmm. good food though
Maya: true

A true testimony of friendship i suppose. Time to get to work. Trying to get to the station earlier to work harder on my playlist today. Lets see what comes out. Wrong choice of words considering my morning adventure... but nonetheless...

mad at the world

2005-10-05T12:07:00.000+05:00

there are days when you know why you are angry and what you're angry at, and you know what you should do....but then it takes a while to work up the courage to do that thing. Fear of one worse fears coming true keep one paralized in a state of status quo rather than taking things on. Today is one of those dark twisted days. Hidden in a smile, twinkle of the eye, wry humour here and there when deep down all I want to do is scream! This is when the the quote comes to mind "of all the things that I have lost I miss my mind the most"