Saturday, October 08, 2005
Ayeshah Alam
me
Unknown at 9:37 AM
ramblings
I don't understand why. I think I've gotten close to knowing You, I think I'm close to You. then You push me away. We used to communicate all the time. Then...silence. It didn't matter what I was going through, it didn't matter how I was hurting, You gave me nothing but silence. I begged for a word from You but nothing. So yes... I was angry at You for deserting me at a time I needed You the most. Now You show Your face again, calling me to come "lets get to know each other again". forgive me my skepticism. I tread lightly and cautiously. I don't know where this will lead.Unknown at 5:20 AM
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Its a brand new day and I'm alive!
I suppose its a good thing I'm an optimist by nature. Its usually relatively easy to bounce back after one of those PMS days. Ramazan started today and I have decided I am going to use this time to search, seek. Having grown up in such a multi cultured confused background that I have been in all different extremes. I feel the need for stillness and truth. Tired of all the confusing messages that keep clogging up my thoughts.
Went to Roasters last night ... had the most amazing tasting food. Maya and I could not continue our conversation as we were too busy oohing and ahing over the khana. But we paid for it dearly this morning. Toilet sms's were going back and forth between us two girlies at 5 o'clock in the am. Our sms conversation went something like this:
Maya: Kahan ho?Went to Roasters last night ... had the most amazing tasting food. Maya and I could not continue our conversation as we were too busy oohing and ahing over the khana. But we paid for it dearly this morning. Toilet sms's were going back and forth between us two girlies at 5 o'clock in the am. Our sms conversation went something like this:
Me: Bathroom
Maya: me too
Me: hmm. good food though
Maya: true
A true testimony of friendship i suppose. Time to get to work. Trying to get to the station earlier to work harder on my playlist today. Lets see what comes out. Wrong choice of words considering my morning adventure... but nonetheless...
Unknown at 9:49 AM
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
mad at the world
there are days when you know why you are angry and what you're angry at, and you know what you should do....but then it takes a while to work up the courage to do that thing. Fear of one worse fears coming true keep one paralized in a state of status quo rather than taking things on. Today is one of those dark twisted days. Hidden in a smile, twinkle of the eye, wry humour here and there when deep down all I want to do is scream! This is when the the quote comes to mind "of all the things that I have lost I miss my mind the most"Unknown at 12:07 PM